A Brand New Day
It’s a beautiful day here in northern California- the sun is shining, the sky is blue, not a cloud in the sky, which is bad since we need the rain but no matter.
Right now the topic on the table is… wait for it…. forgiveness.
Now don’t go running from your computer screen screaming. We really need to talk about this.
Why is it so stinking hard? Why can’t we just let it go? Why do we keep picking at that scab and making ourselves bleed the hurt and anger that keeps us from healing?
I have NO IDEA! Honestly, I have no answer except a few bits of wisdom that others have shared.
My good friend Eric W., wise far beyond his years, tells me that not forgiving is like “letting people rent space in your head for free.” Yup- I hear that.
Someone said to write it all down in a letter and then don’t mail it- really, don’t mail it! But you might consider having a personal little bonfire and send it up to the heavens. Speaking of the heavens…
Sidebar to you non-believing types: Getting spiritual here. You may want to skip this next part.
Turn whatever it is over to someone bigger than you, like maybe the one who made it all anyway. Yes, we’re talking here about God- the one I sometimes refer to as “Hey You!” a la Anne Lamott. (If you haven’t yet read her book “Help, Thanks, Wow- the Three Essential Prayers,” you really, really need to get it)
Here’s something she suggests to try- get a box with a lid. It can a little box or a big box, maybe something that you can set on your desk or by your bed. Decorate it or leave it alone- this isn’t an art project. Write down that thing that you keep holding on to and put it in the box- She calls it the “God Box.” If you want to ask God to deal with it at this point then do it- but once it’s in the box you’re to let it go. Seriously, let it go. Maybe you’ll have to write the same thing down a bunch of times until you can just do that, but maybe, finally, eventually you will be free.
Finally, ask others to help you- to make you laugh, to buy you a drink, to change the subject, to hear your hurts but not to help you wallow. Haven’t we all done enough of that?
You are a blessed child of God, my friend, just in case no one else tells you that today- I will.